Reply to can you maintain a relationship with family if your sibling is a mooch

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[quote=Anonymous]I think for me the issue is all the family secrets. I posted about a Golden Child sister who clearly had mental health issues and entitlement, but instead of getting her diagnosed and getting her help my parents just enabled and now my elderly mom continues to do this.

I wish someone would just say to me, we made some mistakes. Your sister treated you terribly and clearly struggles with x, y, z diagnosis. We are pushing for therapy finally well into adulthood and wished we did it sooner.

I am so sorry so much of her life revolved around catering to your sister's mood swings. I am sorry we never acknowledged how hard it was for you and didn't get you help. I am sorry we spent more on her every step of the way and have paid for so many things for her we never offered to you.

We are proud of you for getting your own therapy and creating your own beautiful life. We are proud of you for doing the work to make relationships work. We are proud of your parenting and we are sorry we didn't do the things to help you we did for her.

We love you just as much as we love her!

Instead I was shamed into catering to her until I finally as a middle age adult decided no more. I was shamed into being a second class citizen. I was never told why she got so much special treatment my entire life. I was shamed for setting boundaries.

So enough about me, me, me. I am so sorry OP. It is unfair. You figure out your boundaries and set them. I wish i could change things for you, but I can't. I can tell you that you are not alone and we just have to accept what is and figure out what we can handle.[/quote]

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