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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, op, you married her, what attracted you her to the point that you took her on a date, then another, then another, and then proposed marriage? 
What things did she let mom and dad do that you didn’t like? How exactly did that work with you two being married? Since marriage means you are a unit, might I suggest that you let her parents make decisions for you too?

I can understand if this bond issue is forcing things to a head, sometimes you really do need your spouse to get off their behind and do something, as in you may be able to make an appointment for her, but you can’t make her actually go to the appointment. I “get” it if you don’t want to be married to her anymore.

[b]It also jumped out at me that she wants you to drive her to the appointment with BOA that’s weird.  Might she have other mental health issues going on? BOA is everywhere, she doesn’t need to drive in the city to get to one.  Paying a fee to have the bond paperwork notarized someplace else and driving in the city are not the only two options, which makes me wonder what all is going on with her, I’ve only seen mentally ill people think in such binary terms and then refuse to take either viable approach.  It’s also strange that she’d be so incapable of acting when the amount of bonds is so large, what’s going on there? Do you guys live in the city? That’s another place where people who can’t function tend to gravitate, way too easy to have things brought to you and way too easy to mask any weird behavior under the guise of “you can’t trust people” “I get anxious” “This crowd, why are all these people outside on a glorious spring day” “It’s just a few drinks and I’m not driving” things that really don’t work in the suburbs. [/b]

Whatever you do, you need to lay off the parents made her this way, maybe they did.. maybe they tried to teach her skill sets she just for whatever reason didn’t pick up. Most parents do the best they can with the information and resources they have at any given moment, and every parent looks back and thinks “If I were doing this today I’d have..”  Fine to keep the parents out of your house if they are say coming into clean, not fine to say they made her life too easy for her even if you think it’s true.

If it were me, I’d drive her to the bank, get the bonds sorted out and then go have a nice lunch or something. The longer you stay married, the easier it will be for you to do tasks that formerly only she could do just because paperwork can be in your name now, i.e. the cell phone bill can be in your name, not hers. Then I’d ignore the “let’s go run” unless you’re really looking forward to running with her talk. Are you, or are you just mad she isn’t doing what she said she would?

Again, divorce is an option. I might be thinking about that only because the hesitancy over the bonds and the rationale behind it would make me wonder if I was dealing with someone with depression, anxiety alcoholism, or some other behavior I personally don’t care to be married to. As one poster said “anxious wife, weird life” which is what you may be finally becoming aware of.

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I recently tried to cash some old T bonds in person and it might be specific which branches will cash them. This is an incredibly malicious, pessimistic read of the wife's actions. [/quote]

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