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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are in the wrong, because clearly people who do this have mental health issues. No one "wants" to live like this, OP, given societal opprobrium! Your brother likely has a combination of ASD/ADHD/anxiety or depression. It's very common, but for our 40-something generation, usually undiagnosed.

My 30 year old nephew has a high IQ, never held a job and is entirely supported by his father. He attempted suicide in school several times, has a severe sleep disorder and is depressed. He also has an Asperger's diagnosis. It helps that we do NOT judge him. Judging him would not help him be self-reliant, and certainly won't help with his health issues.

I have an ASD/ADHD 12th grader. He's received a ton of therapies and training ever since he was little, and I hope he will be financially independent. My husband also has the same traits, and retired early because working was too stressful (too much people stuff despite working in NIH research, where you don't actually need to work as a team most of the time). Luckily, he invested since he was young and we're comfortable.

We know several other high-functioning autistic people who manage to either find niche jobs (intelligence agencies for ex) or live off invention patents and savvy investments. But those are the high IQ successful ones who also got lucky. Many people with undiagnosed and untreated mental health disorders don't even know what they're suffering from and don't know they need help, or cannot be helped!

So stop thinking your brother is functional. He's not. You cannot judge him like your judge yourself. It's not fair to either one of you. You don't need to like this situation. But it will never change, and you're not going to get anywhere with your parents (who understand this way better than you!) if you continue to be a petty little person.

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As the parent you owe it your child to help them launch not just feed them money so they can sit around and be a done nothing their entire lives. You should be helping them to be the best person they can be and living their lives to the fullest as they are able not making excuses for them to fail to launch. [/quote]

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