Reply to So many ACs have no gratitude or respect toward their parents

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[quote=Anonymous]I would like to. As my mother has aged she's gotten mean and dismissive. She never reads or listens to anything I say but always has something to say to me that is negative. I've had to spend 3 hours just trying to tell her a sentence because whatever is real is in her head and no one else seems to know anything. All conspiracy theory too. She needs to distrust everyone these days. Brings in the past into every disagreement. You know 20 years ago we could tell you would be like this when you did X. Why do you always do X? I've been at parties and she brings up conspiracy issues she knows will rile me up and her friends are the ones that have to say this isn't a topic for a party. The other day she said something like, well at least I have always had more friends than you to which I responded as I've mentioned before, I don't want our friendship to be a competition. I'm almost 50 and have never complained about not having enough friends. But she continues flexing whatever her most important thought of the day is despite not receiving any agreement. I'm not treated as a person and it's worse now because she feels that she's losing power and so I feel like she's self-sabotaging the relationship in some sort of hate against the world for her getting older and for her not really having the authority in the relationship anymore. I'm sure it's a regular occurrence as people age that they project their anger on getting older out into the world, but it's hard to constantly show respect for someone like that even if at one time they were kinder. I can barely be around her.

I think a lot of kids would show more respect if adult parents weren't constantly critical of their children still into their adulthood and could just treat them as friends themselves.

What exactly does respect look like to the elderly? To me it means seating them appropriately. Helping them out as needed. It doesn't mean taking abusive comments.[/quote]

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