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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What is your relationship now with your adopted family, siblings, parents when they were alive or if they are still alive, and extended cousins,  etc.?

As you are older now,  how have you framed (or reframed, most likely) your life experience? [/quote]

I was born in the early 80's and adopted. I'm still very close with my family (why wouldn't I be?). I don't understand your second question. [/quote]

OP here. I wasn't the  eye roll poster. 
What I was referring to is the broad coverage and community that has developed in the last decade basically uncovering the social paradigm around adoption- that it was for the best, that it was for everyone's own good,  that mothers couldn't care for their children,[b] that adoptees were  "chosen," when, in fact, it was an entire sociological swath of patriarchal , societal and religious baby trafficking[/b]. Unwed mothers, young or old,  couldn't keep their babies due to societal norms, young mothers were kept in maternity homes,  often medicated,  and forced to give up children, private adoptions were  for cash, overseas and domestic adoptions lined the pockets of doctors and lawyers, and the overarching theme of white middle class married couples  "winning" babies.  Additionally,  adopted children lost all rights and information to their identity,  who their parents were, and their genetic and medical  history, with no recourse. 
All the adults had the rights,  but the children were stripped of rights.Children in transracial adoptions were whitewashed to fit it, without the embracing of their culture. The  adoption community calls it "coming out of the fog." Besides a lot of recent community development over this,  there's been a lot of writing, including a recent article published this week:
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/04/10/living-in-adoptions-emotional-aftermath
Also-
Adoption Used to Be Hush-Hush. This Book Amplifies the Human Toll. https://nyti.ms/2Y5DD0s
[/quote]

You're painting with a very broad brush there.

And you know what?  I WAS chosen.  My parents chose me.  My adopted family IS my family, and I have a good relationship with my parents, an okay relationship with my brother, and a good relationship with my extended family.  And I don't think any of the issues we've had over the years had anything to do with adoption -- pretty normal teen/parent stuff, really.  I don't dispute that for some people, it was a traumatic or negative experience, and I don't disagree that many biological mothers were pressured to put their babies up for adoption, but your negative narrative isn't true for everyone, either. "The adoption community" doesn't speak for everyone.  There are as many adoption experiences as there are adopted children.  I think you're trying to start drama.  [/quote]

I think you are quite defensive for someone who hasn't been accused of anything. This isn't a personal issue about you,  it is an academic issue. And yes, adoptees, and the adoption industry  all over the world are reevaluating a lot of practice. Sorry to disappoint you, but it isn't me doing this any more than women who question working conditions when they were younger and dismiss all negativity about it because they were never harrassed, or a person of color who didn't feel any prejudice at some time in their life,  or an altar boy who wasn't molested. What's your point? You love your parents, you went to private school. That doesn't dismiss the whole issue or other people's perceptions. 
I also love my parents.  I also had a good life. But the truth of what happened, how it happened, the social  and transactional parameters that caused it to happen, and the generational/ societal result is something definitely worth thinking about and bringing up in dialogue. You aren't appropriate when you decide to shut that down- because you went to what, private school?

Very sorry,  but DNA testing, and the uncovering of the adoptio. Industry has caused all of us to reexamine what happened. 
 [/quote]

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