Reply to Why does my MIL do this? How to tell DH?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She’s 12. Teach her to speak up for herself. “Grandma, when you say things like that it sounds like you’re embarrassed by me because of my hair, and how I look.” “Grandma, if you keep saying g things like that, it’ll make me not want to spend time with you.”[/quote]

There is an unequal power of balance and you saying it like it’s so simple for a 12 year old to say these things is disingenuous. [/quote]

No it’s not. There are reasons I don’t take shit from people, and one is that I watched my parents stick up for themselves and set boundaries growing up, and the other is that my parents gave me the words to do it myself when I got upset with someone, and then backed me up. [/quote]

Well good for you. It’s not like that for most children when they have to stand up to an adult. You want a cookie? [/quote]

No. I want people to raise their kids to set boundaries and shut down or walk away from adults who are manipulative. I'm not saying it's easy. Did I cry after I told my grandma who I loved "if you keep making comments about my skin, I won't want to come to our weekly brunches anymore, because you make me feel bad when you do that"? Yes, of course I did. But I learned that the world won't end, my Grandma will still love me, and maybe she'll stop making comments about my skin. I learned I can do hard things. Which gave me confidence the next time I had to say something hard.[/quote]

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