Reply to Daughter wants to pick a bad influence roommate

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, three pages without anyone telling op to land the helicopter.  Her dd will find plenty of “bad influence” friends in college if she so choses, and op will have no control over it.[/quote]

Sure, that's great in theory -- but when you're putting down $50k a year don't you want to give your kid boundaries and not use this as a time to learn expensive lessons?[/quote]

Good luck with that, once op’s dd is on campus and the family car drives off, she can and will hang out with whomever she choses, including this high school friend, regardless of whether they are roommates.[/quote]

Yeah but living in that environment is so different from hanging out with the friend. The DD will have control over when she wants to see that friend and booze or do whatever. And I also understand that when you sign up to live with a stranger you might be paired with someone who also parties a lot, but the DD will much more easily be able to stand up for herself without all the of past history of a childhood friend. There's also a weird dynamic of standing up to the childhood friend and worrying that friend will report back to their mutual high school friends that DD is being a jerk/ loser/ whatever. It's just cleaner to go with a stranger and walk away if it doesn't work.[/quote]

Whatever you need to tell yourself to make yourself feel better about it.  Also do people really think their kids aren’t going to drink in college if only they had the right roommate?  Some of you are living in a major state of delusion.[/quote]

I don't think you're grasping the conversation. If the OP's daughter wants to drink, then she will. The concern is the possibility of OP's DD living with someone who seems to have addiction/ substance abuse issues. If you've never lived with someone who struggles with substance abuse, then you might not understand how it impacts others. You cannot escape it and the OPs DD is on merit based aid. Knowingly setting the DD up in a chaotic situation does not bode well for academic success. If the DD breeds her own chaos, then so be it, but that's not what we're talking about.[/quote]

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