Reply to How to help teen who lost all their elem-mid school friends because of rumors and bullying, canceled

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh Good Lord.  It's so easy to get canceled.  My daughter was called a fascist because she said she wants to be a prosecutor.  She isn't on social media so she wasn't publicly called out, but she was dropped from the group chat.  For saying she wanting to be a prosecutor.

So don't assume OP's kid did something heinous.  It could have been something as subtle as expressing the wrong political opinion or accidentally misgendering someone.[/quote]

There is a difference between getting dropped from a group chat and getting dropped by every one of your friends [/quote]

So your position is that if op’s child is being ostracized by her friend group, she must have done something to deserve it?[/quote]

My position is that for someone who people have known since elementary school to be ostracized by all of their friends usually requires a reason. It's one think to drop someone from a group chat or cut them out of a wider friend group, but when everyone including best friends dumps them, there is a reason. [/quote]

NP: If OP’s kid somehow tangled or offended a kid who has strong leadership qualities (a “queen bee” or male equivalent) it  is TOTALLY plausible that the OP’s kid is not nearly as at fault as people would think. For example, my DS played a sport in middle school and  ended up winning a starting position on a particular sports team. The position was something very specific on the team (not a soccer goalie, but similar). The problem? He won the position and started over the very popular “male queen bee” type kid…which put him on that kid’s sh!t list. Kid turned pretty much the whole sports group against my kid, which escalated into the same treatment at school as well (and brought more kids into it). My son didn’t do anything to deserve it. It is very very easy for a powerful kid to target another kid (and get everyone to follow along) at certain ages…middle school is prime for this type of behavior. My son is fine and made new friends- fortunately this happened at a transition year (8th grade) and it largely blew over socially. And DS quit his sport.  [/quote]

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