Reply to People who still have both parents/1 parent just don't get it

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "People who still have both parents/1 parent just don't get it"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I lost one parent as a child.  You never get over it.

The flip side of losing parents too soon is not being burdened with their care.  I have at least six friends struggling with this now.  Things like mom with Alzheimer’s, has become mean and requires full-time care, there’s a waiting list for all the memory care homes so friend is dealing with mom 24/7 until a space becomes available.  Another friend’s mom was in a facility but broke her leg, requiring surgery, had to move to rehab facility, moved back to regular facility only to fall again.  Friend has missed significant time and work and spends crazy amount of time dealing with her mother’s care.  They’re spending something like $12k a month on her home.  She’s so stressed all the time.

Losing a parent too early is awful but having to care for them for years is horrible too. I just hope I go before being a burden on my kids.[/quote]

This is so true. Dealing with the sandwich stuff now one parent passes, next one's rapid decline with some scoops of mean, combative and paranoid to top it off. OP my mom hasd become downright abusive with her decline. Sometimes I admit it is hard for me to listen to people's stories of moms who are aging with grace and who are loving, but I let that feeling pass and then I truly am glad to hear there are people aging like that. I can be happy for my friends. I don't let my bitterness win. One of my kids has special needs. People brag to me all the time about their kids superstar accomplishments. Before I came to terms with things it upset me and I tried to hide it. Now I accept I am on a different path and I can be happy for these people and I hope their kids will make positive changes in the world.

My biggest issue seems to be with BS and I think it's because I too was guilty of it. It took me a while to admit to myself my mom had become abusive and really had these tendencies to be like this my whole life, but with good qualities and some awareness mixed in. So I too would say my mom is my best friend and while I was not a social media person I talked about her glowingly. I think some of it was trying to convince myself. A friend of mine had a downright abusive mom and she was the one posting all over social media dedications to mom on her birthday and Mother's day. So now I see people doing that and I always wonder if they are stuck in the same insanity we were. I am happily married-truly and I brag to nobody. I put it here to say at least for me, when something truly is good, I don't need to send out a announcement on IG or press release. I don't want to make anyone feel bad because I know sadness and darkness.

Not sure where I am going at this point except to say if people are genuinely missing a parent or loving a parent then I am there for them feeling sympathy or enjoying their happiness. It doesn't take away from my own happiness, sadness or loss unless I let it.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics