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[quote=Anonymous]I was in a similar dark place. I didn't start trying until I was 35. I had three miscarriages in 2 years and ended up doing IVF. My reaction to the miscarriages, which I know is completely natural and understandable, was just not something I could explain to myself. I'm a pretty rational person with a back up plan going into TTC (my husband and I already had a discussion before marriage of our plans if we could not conceive) but the emotional roller coaster was not something I could rationalize. I realize (for me at least) there was a big difference between choosing to not have your own children and not having a choice. I had to stay away from social media and tried hard to avoid baby showers and events with someone who was pregnant. The only good thing about COVID was that it made it a little easier for me to avoid people.

I also dreaded IVF and cried when we were told it was our next route. It seems so daunting in the beginning and the injections made me nervous. Once I understood the steps of IVF it all became kind of routine. I took it one day at a time (so cliche I know...). It was a relief that the process was out of my control but I know someone else was monitoring it. When TTC, I spent so much time timing my ovulation, then timing sex, then timing pregnancy tests and repeat. Then it was a lot of wondering if I did something wrong. With IVF, someone else was doing that work and it somehow was mentally easier for me.

You have a right to your feelings and you should take as much time as you need to process. [/quote]

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