Reply to For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because it's going to go badly. The kids will be spoiled and entitled. The new wife wants to pretend she didn't marry an old man with baggage, but she did, and she's going to resent the time he spends with his original children and, eventually, his grandchildren. She might not get to have as many of her own kids as she wanted. The older he gets, the more she'll hate what she chose for herself, because she'll have to do most of the parenting as well as deal with his aging, and a long widowhood starts to seem like a real thing. It's not an easy thing for a wife. [/quote]

This is why second marriages fail. If he repeatedly disappoints his new wife and doesn’t show up for her as a husband and father to their kids together, she’s going to leave in most cases.  There won’t be enough good will for her to stick it out as he gets old and sick.  That’s human nature. [/quote]

There's just not enough dad time and energy (and often, money) to go around. He agreed to the new kids so that he could have the new wife, and he genuinely loves them and her and wants them to be happy. But he didn't actually want to start over with parenting.  Nor did he want to disappoint his original children by not spending time with them and the grandchildren. He's always going to feel caught in between-- but of course, he did this to himself. Ultimately he will choose new wife because she's his caregiver, and new kids because they are little, and the older kids will drift away. Remarriages with kids can only function if the older set of kids fades out.[/quote]

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