Reply to I don’t like my daughter. I know this won’t ever change-

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What OP (and some responders) are missing here is that if OP is thinking the thoughts "I don't like my daughter and never will," these feelings will be telegraphed to her daughter, even if unintentionally.

While we don't need to be martyrs, good parents don't give up on their 13 year olds unless the kid is a serial killer.  Find things to like, make an effort to connect, make a choice to find things to love about that kid, even if they are a challenge.

If you continue down this path, it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

(and BY THE WAY, kids can change a lot between 13 and whenever... )[/quote]

OP’s daughter is 16, not 13.

My mother and I never got along either. Our personalities are way too different, and they are still that way. I still visit her once a year (she’s on the other coast). It’s fine OP. Just do your best to be a parent, and make sure she has the confidence and skills necessary to leave the nest when she’s an adult. That’s something you need to do just as a parent.[/quote]

The saying blood is thicker than water does exist. It doesn't mean you have to like and cherish your offspring or parents as long as you acknowledge there still remains a tie with some obligations. I can care about a family member without liking them. I do think in recent decades we've lost sight of a lot of common understanding of human nature and society is imbued with constant, seemingly impossible messages about how things should be that actually only worsen the tensions, such as the inability to differentiate between love and like when it comes to family relationships. [/quote]

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