Reply to "You should have another kid"

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Reply to ""You should have another kid""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People should never ever say this. I will say, though, that the most miserable special needs parents I know have one child. Having other children without special needs is a relief and a joy and helps balance it out. Feel free to disagree, but it’s been my observation at all of the many many many special needs settings we have been in. And then of course, there are those parents with multiple kids with special needs, which has to be so very hard. So, I get it. [/quote]

I can see what you are saying PP, but unless the SN is something that can be screened for through IVF and either insurance will cover IVF or someone has enough money (and the will) to go through IVF there is no guarantee that a second baby will not have SN. The probability may be low but it is higher than if DC1 didn't have special needs. There are a lot of considerations beyond that as well. Making a blanket statement like the one that you made is not helpful and also, is a generalization and anecdotal. You don't know every SN parent of 1. [/quote]

One of the happiest people I know had one child with significant SN.  She told me that she was “one and done”. She has cultivated a rich life for her, her DH and her DC. Her DC transitioned to a group home with other great young adults with SN, has a FT job, and a full life of activities including sport and travel. Attitude matters. [/quote]

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