Reply to Less Selective College but the right fit?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Go to the admitted students day at both schools with an open mind. How far apart in rankings are we talking? My DC is in at a private school ranked around 40 (well known in major), but really prefers a public school admitted to that ranks around 120. I feel pretty strongly DC should go with the higher ranked school. DC likes both schools and likes the social scene, football games, etc. at the lower ranked school. [/quote]

Please let your DC pick themselves!  Don't keep mentioning the "rankings"  It is their college experience and anyone who can get admitted to ~#40 is smart and motivated and will do well anywhere they go.  But they will do best where they are happiest.  Imagine if you force them to pick ~#40 and they are miserable--they will blame you forever and that would not be the type of relationship I'd want with my kid[/quote]

So you would be okay with your kid picking say University of Tennessee (mainly for the social life and football games) over Boston University, Case Western or Tulane? Seriously? I guess I am in the minority on this thread, but I would not be thrilled. [/quote]

Ok, I may not be thrilled about my kid's choice, but I would not voice my opinion to my kid more than 1-2 times about the ranking.  Instead I would find explicit details about their desire major/course of study and provide data points that might convince them BU, CWRU or Tulane is a actually a better fit.  I'd explain why it's not smart to pay OOS tuition for such a large university when there are no benefits over our in state universities (if they want the big school experience).  If Tenn is In state, then I'm might be excited that they are saving so much money and discuss how we can now help them pay for graduate school with the savings.  But I wouldn't belabor it.  My goal is for my kid to attend a school that's the best fit for them.  At that point if we forced them to choose BU/CWRU/Tulane they might not do as well.  They also might be annoyed at us and really not do well at college and that could forever change our relationship.  Seriously, they are picking between 44 and 110, not 44 and 500.

Eventually we have to let our kids grow up and make choices.  And where to attend college is the starting point.  I got to pick where I attended college 30+ years ago, now it's time for my young adult to make their own choice, with some guidance from me and their other parent.  I seriously doubt the ONLY reason the kid wants large state u is for football and social scene.  As long as it has their desired major (and they can easily get into that major or any other major they might want to switch to), I'd let them make the final choice.

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hear, hear![/quote]

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