Reply to Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you are “embracing the gray” then you have to deal with this. If you don’t want to be viewed as older than you are, then sorry, you do need to dye your hair, pay attention to your clothing, and wear a little bit of makeup.

It’s absolutely fine not to do any of those things, but the trade-off is that you can’t complain and feel wounded when people assume you are older than you are. Because there are women in their late 40s, 50s and 60s who look much younger than you because they are taking these steps. Again, it’s fine not to, but if you’re going to take steps to look good, you’re going to look older than you are.[/quote]

No, people can learn not to be rude and comment on your appearance, make assumptions etc. [/quote]j

Would it be rude to ask someone if they were sisters, etc.? No. They are being friendly. If you don’t want to look like a grandma, take basic care of your appearance.[/quote]

I went white in my 30’s and didn’t dye my hair after the first few years. I had my son when I was 34, and have been taken for his grandmother more times than I can count - it happened all the time. It bothered me, yes, but I knew it was because of my hair. PP, I’d push back on “take basic care of your appearance.” I do and always have been clean, groomed, healthy. I don’t dye my hair. You are implying that if you don’t buy the bullshit that women have to look like eternally young Barbie dolls or they aren’t taking basic care of themselves. F that.[/quote]

Nice try, but I said several times “it’s absolutely fine to do none of those things.” Sure, you can have good grooming and still choose to go gray. That’s fine. What you can’t be is bothered about it. You’re making a choice: own it. Don’t want to be bothered? Don’t go gray in your 30s.

If I were complaining and whining that no one took me seriously at work, and come to find out I was choosing to wear athleisure every day, your response would probably either be make a change, or stop complaining. Same to you![/quote]

I’ve never complained about it, and I mentioned that I was bothered when I was younger but understood it was because of my white hair. What I object to is the definition of “taking basic care” with not looking older. I don’t look unattractive, I look 10 years older than I am. I could dye my hair and look younger. I choose not to. I am just pointing out that you have fallen for the fiction that the most important thing about a woman’s appearance is how old she looks.[/quote]

You literally said you were “bothered.” You don’t get to be bothered about something that is your own choice. [/quote]

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