Reply to Would you pay 200K for a baby that isn't biologically yours?

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Reply to "Would you pay 200K for a baby that isn't biologically yours?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“Just adopt” was an option 30 years ago. It’s NOT now. Do you know anyone who has pursued adoption lately? There are way, way more families interested in adopting than there are babies to adopt. In many cases, it’s basically not an option.

One friend of mine spoke to several adoption agencies in her area (not local) and was told that there are 25 families that have paid the fees, done the home visits, jumped through all the hoops, and are now approved for every one baby that is put up for adoption.

I have another friend, local, who was told she could only adopt if she was open to adopting a baby who had been exposed to drugs or alcohol prenatally. She did move forward, and was able to successfully adopt a baby from a mom with some drug use. So far, baby seems great and healthy, but obviously, there’s no telling what the future holds.

These are married, stable, high income, loving homes.

So yeah, if I had the money, I’d do it. It’s probably your only way to have a baby. [/quote]

+1 there are basically no healthy newborns or even toddlers up for adoption. International adoptions have been severely curtailed. Then you have people who think that all adoptions are “trauma,” And I’m pretty sure in a few years’ time there will be some kind of unfortunate backlash against adopted kids/families because of it, sadly. Shelling out 100k+ on fertility treatments and/or even more $$$ on a surrogate is the only way. Unfortunately. [/quote]

Serious question - how does DE curtail any of the adoption issues? With DE you're literally giving life to children who have biological families that they may find later in life, and who they may want to seek out. How will DE kids feel that their biological mother was paid a measly 10k or whatever to go through an egg retrieval? How will donors feel as they have their own kids, knowing that there are potential half siblings are out there which they are not aware of? Will the DE kids be mad at their parents if they end up with a biological disease that they weren't screened for? Or mad that they didn't pick a donor who was more athletic, attractive, etc?  DE is going to honestly be more unethical than adoption in the next twenty years. How does spending 100k negotiate any of the adoption problems, and not just exasperate them?

For those using surrogate, you're asking a woman to risk her life to carry your child to term and financially reimbursing her. This is problematic for some.

I think the only "free and clear" DE situation is to have an open egg adoption within the family or a close friend and surrogate in the family or a close friend, where the donor is truly donating, not being reimbursed.

I am not judging anyone who has gone the DE route, as I believe REs are very predatory and all about making more money and not about finding medical solutions for infertility. I also understand the desperation of wanting your own child which is so easy for so many and the struggle.

[/quote]

I don't think anyone is saying there are not potential concerns with DE, but it does take away two of the concerns with adoption: (1) that the fetus was exposed to drugs or alcohol; and (2) knowing that your biological parents didn't want to raise you.[/quote]

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