Reply to What youth-HS sport was the best experience for your family?

Forum Index » Sports General Discussion

Reply to "What youth-HS sport was the best experience for your family? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I come at this from two different perspectives: as a coach because I've coached many of my children's teams (flag football, basketball and lax mostly)(some at the rec level some higher levels) and as a parent.

As a parent, the best experiences are typically when the parents and kids are good and normal. That goes a long way for our family's experience. This is particularly true for other parents. You are going to be sitting on the sideline with these people for hours over long stretches of a season. It is better if they are engaging, flexible and try not to take themselves to seriously about this. Some times the parents are great, sometimes they aren't. If they are douchey or morons.

The other best experiences for my kids is when I see them being well-coached and I see the players (not just my kids) get better and develop their skill set in the sport they are playing. So a good experiences is amplified by a good coach. And I'll be honest, the best coaches are also the most competitive. It doesn't mean win at all costs but the coaches ability to raise up their players (at all talent levels) so they can compete against other teams that might be more talented. Doesn't mean they win but you can see their skills improved that also develops confidence that they might win a game against a better team. Competitive coaches will work with all their players to get them to improve and will work with kids do the little things. My son just finished a travel basketball season that I thought would go meh because most of the players coming back were from last year's team and it was an awful experience. But, there was a new coach and by the end of the season, I saw huge development in the players and it was a team not just 5 individuals. They lost in the championship game by 4 to a team that had beaten them by 20 and 25 points earlier in the season. I've seen my daughter be coached in softball by one particular guy and I could tell that he was just a sort of roll the ball out there kind of coach. You could tell when you compared my daughter's team to other teams in how they approached the game and how they just lined up they weren't well coached. It was very frustrating.

As a coach, the best experiences I've had are watching players develop and getting better. It is also with parents that understand I have the best intentions for their children. I tell parents and kids I am going to place them in positions to succeed and give them the tools to make sure they succeed when I ask them to do something. That doesn't mean every kid does the same things - like play quarterback or point guard - but they will play and be asked to do things that will put them outside of their comfort zone. Nothing drives me more nuts when I ask a kid to do something in a game and they say they don't want to do it. For example, in flag football, I try to get every kid (especially at the lower ages) to run the ball every game. One year I had a kid never want to run with the ball until 2nd to last game of the season. I asked him, he said yes and ran the entire field for a touchdown. He said "Coach, why didn't I get to run the ball earlier?" I just rolled my eyes.

And I'll be very honest, you typically have better experiences when you win. It is just more fun. Again, this isn't you have to win at all costs.  But getting your head kicked in for a season or losing all of your games isn't really a lot of fun for anyone. It builds character but just losing uncompetitively for long periods isn't great for the "experience." And I'm sorry if I'm not conveying myself very well. I've coached rec games where I could have won by just playing my best players or just handing off the ball to the kid that is the best athlete in the league and just dominate teams. It also depends on the rules. Most leagues I coach are you automatically my the playoffs. In those leagues, everyone gets the same amount of playing time but in the playoffs, playing time isn't equal but everyone still plays. I explain this to parents at the beginning of every season and never had anyone complain.

[/quote]

I know you have the best of intentions but I have to take issue with alot of what you said.  You seem to be of the mind that as a youth coach you can make a difference.  In reality, with such short one-off seasons, limited practice times and games, you really can't.  Coaches don't develop players, players (with the help of their families) develop players, over multiple seasons.

I see youth coaches win and feel successful by doing all the wrong things for player development.  Figuring out a way to get the better players on their team (carpool loophole).  Heavily playing their best kids, or coming up with a gimmick play to score when all it does is limit important team concepts.  In basketball this is typically press/zone defense, having the best kid handle the ball all the time, running pick and roll time after time for the best scorer while everyone watches and is told the rebound, guiding certain players to shoot less.  Every sport has these little tricks that do nothing for and acutal limit player development.

The most important thing for a youth coach is this: Don't get in the way!  Provide the framework and manage the practice and games, and then let the kids play and compete at the sport the right way.  Wins or losses at the rec/youth level really don't matter (can't believe this has to be said) and a good coach will get that.  I guarantee you that you aren't as good of a coach as you think you are.  Otherwise, you wouldn't be a volunteer unpaid coach.  That other coach you think that wasn't very good... there's very little separating the two of you, no matter how wide you think that gap is.  Wins and losses come down to luck of the draw with the roster/players a team gets assigned (or that the dad coaches could finagle onto their time - you know who you are).[/quote]

I don't think you read my post very careful and are reading a great deal into it. Much more than should.

You can take issue with what ever you want, but until you actually coach, you don't really know what you are talking about. If you do coach...great...we have different philosophies about how to coach. I'm going to guess mine is more successful at an individual and team level because the "provide the framework and manage practice and games" usually results in just chaos and players not getting better. A good coach is like a good parent and they provide a structure to players. No structure, results in practices basically being like herding cats and games - oh, boy.. As for good coaches, you know one when you see it. I have kids I coached 5-6 years ago come up to me all the time and talk about X season or just to say hi.

In 10+ years of coaching, I've never had a parent every ask me about playing time for their children, which means I've done a good job. I can also say numerous coaches, opposing players, parents, refs, have stated how well coached my teams are. This occurs even when my teams don't win and lose by a lot. And, yes, I've had a number of teams not be very good. Doesn't mean they weren't successful when looking at where the team and individuals improved. Some of my teams have been awful to start but through several years improved. I don't do any type of loopholes for my rosters. kids are on it or they aren't. Many of my teams through the years have had the same kids with minor changes at the margins because they go to my kids' school or were originally placed on my roster. Believe me, there have been times I wish a kid wasn't but that doesn't mean I coach them any differently. Yes, many players develop on their own but also input from me. If you don't think good coaching makes an impact on practice or player development, I'm not sure what to tell you.

I also don't think you know much about sports when you talk about player development because I never said players don't develop outside of practices I hold. In fact, most development occurs outside of my practices when kids take what is taught in practice and work on it outside of practice. Some do, some don't. Some get extra help outside, some are so busy they move from sport to sport depending on the season. Practice is for preparing for games and honing skills it generally isn't for constantly doing drills.

As for being paid, I could if I wanted to. I've been offered several opportunities to coach at AAU level teams. I don't take them up on it because I have a successful career and the main reason I coach is so that I can spend time with my children (and, setting when your team practices is an added benefit). When they get past the ages I can coach, I might look into it or I might start reffing. [/quote]

Fair enough.  There's clearly a pretty big middle between 'barely caring coach who's there herding cats' and 'ego driven coach thinking its all about him'.  Congrats on your coaching successes and the relationships you've formed.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics