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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think I understand why OP is upset. It's the disparity at how the grandchildren are treated. Her ILs are spending all this time with one set of grandchildren but not the others. I also think OP is exhausted, she is trying to get her point across, to ask people who are supposed to be her closest family to help her, and she gets polite rebuffs. The whole "send me your children's pictures" is such fake "grandparenting".

OP, I would mute them. Don't let them get to you. Plan your life without them, it's actually better that way. You won't owe them a thing so when they are infirm, they can rely on SIL and her children. Consider yourself off the hook.[/quote]

Why is this such a shock to women? Maternal grandparents tend to be closer to their daughter's children. This is true in my family and so many others. OP moved away from her parents and lost that support. OP and her husband also don't live near the in-laws. It's very rare that the in-laws will step in and fill that void that OP is missing out with her own parents, never mind the geographical distance. If you want that kind of family support and closeness you, living near family is usually a prerequisite. [/quote]

We don't know if OP moved from her family or they moved from her. Also, it is not necessary to live in the same area as your family to be close.  If she is married to someone who gets deployed, there is no way they can stay in one place. [/quote]

No matter who moved, it suggests they aren't that close, physically or geographically. And it is necessary to be close to family if you expect them to pick up your kids from practice or watch them when you get a hair cut.[/quote]

OMG people how hard is it for grandparents to fly or drive out for a weekend to visit their own grandchildren? She is not asking for day to day help, she needs a small reprieve. Selfish.

OP, I hope those grandparents do not expect your DH to take care of them once they are infirm. [/quote]

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