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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That is very annoying and not very sensitive of them. I learned something recently, though, when I expect people to act how I would in a similar situation, I often end up disappointed. They may not understand/grasp how hard it is for you. I think it’s OK to tell them things have been hard, but keep that a separate issue from the pictures.

My retired father is always sending pictures from where he is on vacation. It drives my siblings crazy. I think he’s just trying to share his life with us. But the issue is he doesn’t come visit the grandchildren, so it’s a hard pill for them to swallow when he’s on another vacation and won’t even come see them. That being said they haven’t asked him to, and they’re assuming he’s choosing a Caribbean island over them. He’s trying to keep in touch by sending pictures of where he is, because he’s not a good communicator otherwise. There’s an issue  bc they’re not seeing it from the same perspective.  I think if one of us sat him down and told him how what we thought he would feel just terrible! I really think the majority of family issues are from a realistic, expectation and unclear communication.  [/quote]
This is a really great post, PP. I used to be baffled by how little interest my MIL had in seeing my kids or helping out, and they live a mile away. I found her to be a complete joke of a grandmother compared to my mom. Over time, I realized she really thought she was involved because she came to their sporting events, even if she didn’t speak with them. This was apparently a lot more than her parents did for her or her kids. She wasn’t malicious or meaning to be neglectful, she just had no clue what an involved grandparent looked like.

OP, your in-laws seem really selfish and careless of your feelings, but maybe it would help for you to reach out to them and ask for help with specific tasks. [/quote]

See my post above. Before DH left for deployment, he asked for help. Explicitly. They changed the subject. They brought up that our kids are in daycare. They are not difficult kids. Even if you offered to spend a weekend with them, going to the zoo or a playground, it would be HUGE. My parents live in another country, they see their grandchildren once a year at most. But they make an effort, there are weekly facetime calls, they are engaging with them. This is just too much. [/quote]

Have you considered moving to their state? The distance is obviously going to make dropping in for a quick weekend difficult. [/quote]

You are kidding me, right? I have a job. I have a house. They are one hour flight away.[/quote]

I’m not kidding. You have unrealistic expectations. Get your parents to come for months at a time.[/quote]

My parents live in another country. On another continent. They work for a living. [b]My ILs have been retired for the past 5 years. They are not old or unwell. They are 1 hour away by plane[/b]. I am a working mother with 2 small children. Sure, let me pack up our stuff for the weekend. Have you traveled with young children? Probably not.[/quote]

None of this means they owe you childcare, or whatever else you think they owe you. Nada. Zip. Nothing, they have raised their kids. Raise yours.[/quote]

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