Reply to This is shaping up to be an awful death (vent)

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[quote=Anonymous]A big hug to you, OP. I am also an only child who was responsible for my dying widowed father--and who also had a young child at the time. My father was on hospice in an assisted living facility, and it was a very positive experience. The hospice nurse visited twice a week and a doctor attached to the facility also visited several times a week. You cannot be with him 24/7, and no one expects you to be. The best thing you can do for him now is to continue being his advocate. Take notes when you visit on his demeanor, physical condition, changes in daily patterns of living, etc. and report what you see--just the facts, no emotion. Keep pressing for more pain meds or anything else that can relieve his discomfort. Keep at it and escalate if you see changes in your dad, and medical/hospice staff are not responsive to your requests. Get to know the medical director and/or the person responsible for the nurses/aides, and visit them frequently in their offices. Keep pushing them for better care that is more responsive to his changing needs. Eventually they will yield.

And when he's gone, know that you did the best you could.
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