Reply to This is really bothering me- always being "on" as the parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The ASK for an emergency work situation is not reasonable unless you have an emergency on your end that he knows of.  I would TELL my DH if I have to work late due to an emergency, and assume he will deal with home stuff.

Everything else, I agree with you.   Your DH doesn't realize how hard it is because he's never been in that position.  I find that most DHs just assume you have everything in control, that you are the default parent for everything, even when they are home.[b] He was "shocked" because he thinks you signed up for being the default parent even when he's home. [/b]

So, you need to tell him that when he's home, you need him to be the primary parent and not assume that you will take care of everything. And also, take a weekend for yourself every month when he's not traveling, and let him be the default parent.

Toddlers/early ES are the hardest years, both parenting and on the marriage.  It will get easier.  My kids are now teens, but life was so stressful when our kids were younger, even with DH doing a lot (not traveling) that I told DH that I was going to take a step back from work (ie quit) for a couple of years. Thankfully, I got a PT wfh job after about a year of being a sahp, then as the kids got older, converted to FT.

Or get a nanny/sitter if you can so you can decompress.  It's super hard without any support around you. I had no support.  [/quote]

I don't think that is why men are shocked about this. They are shocked because it doesn't even occur to them to need to be on or that moms feel on. They don't know it is a thing. They are blind to it and it is shocking to be told there is something there they never realized existed.[/quote]

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