Reply to In-laws being pushy about visiting.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - what responses!  I think asking 1-2 months is not unreasonable, given the massive adjustment we’ll be going through.  The rules apply across the board.  And for everyone saying “have a heart, let them come at 2-3 weeks” - a month is four weeks.  Is it really that big of a difference?

I’ve read several articles advocating waiting at least a month before allowing strangers around. I’m not interested in being immediately post-partum, bleeding, leaking milk/breastfeeding etc with my in-laws around.  At least not until I get the hang of it.  Is this really cruel, ridiculous, and selfish?  I just don’t get these responses.[/quote]

It is controlling for no reason. You will be fine. Everyone will be fine. Just let the grandparents see experience one of life's rare and precious events by seeing their newborn grandchild soon after it is born. They are not going to take the baby away from you. Being difficult now will not set up well for things between you guys later.

The grandparents are not "being pushy". They are just excited. Would you rather have the opposite?

I say all of this after having BTDT. I was a petty controlling b**** of a DIL for a while.
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Fail to see how having boundaries = controlling b****. Also fail to see a huge distinction between two weeks and four weeks.

We have a good relationship generally.  DH communicated that we would play it by ear, which is true.  But they are chomping at the bit to see the baby within hours/days, which is a non-starter.  [/quote]

One option is to do what we did:  both sets of grandparents came to the hospital and waited (NOT in the birthing room).  Then they got to come in and see our brand newborn for maybe 30 minutes or so.  Then they left.  We told them we wanted three weeks with just our new little family.  Then they came back for a couple days sequentially and stayed in a hotel.

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