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[quote=Anonymous]That’s just the thing…. You don’t get to decide how your kids will react. You don’t get to decide if your kids will hate you or not. You don’t have a say in that. You can mock them for hating you and explain to them that other people in the world have experienced such worse trauma.  Good luck with that approach.  Or …. you could acknowledge to your kids that you made a terrible decision, regret how your actions hurt them, and realize that you could and should have handled the situation differently. It’s shocking how far a genuine apology will go with kids. Of course, sticking to your guns by defending your actions, attacking the people who feel hurt by you, and claiming that really YOU are the victim is always a safe bet that won’t get you anywhere, but hey…. You don’t have to admit you were wrong!

One of my kids refuses to have anything to do with has dad. He is extremely angry at his dad for what he did, because like most kids he interprets everything through a very self centered lens. He feels like his dad left HIM, that his dad chose this other woman and her kids over him. This is something that he only articulated after years of therapy.

Before you go blaming this on me somehow, our other child is totally fine. Seems unbothered by the divorce and circumstances surrounding it, is fine with 50-50 custody, genuinely seems to be well adjusted and accepting of everything.  [/quote]

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