Reply to Have you gotten MORE angry at your parents since having kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I appreciate my parents’ human failings more as a parent now.  I think they did a great job and loved us. My sibling thinks my dad was angry with a bad temper. Psychology tells us that all of your life experiences get reinterpreted as you mature. Some of them get more accurate (you have a larger distance from them and can judge more objectively) and some get really, really inaccurate due to current traumas. There was a study that showed women with angry husbands tend to remember their own fathers as *more* abusive than women whose husbands are kind and gentle. Apparently the mind protects your current choices at the expense of the accuracy of historical fact so that you can live with them.[/quote]

Perhaps, but I'll also note that you and your sister might have had different experiences and, in a way, even parented by different people. You can't really know how your sibling experienced her childhood because you were born at a different time in your parent's lives, with a different family arrangement, than she was. It is not uncommon for siblings to have drastically different memories or perceptions of their childhoods, and it doesn't mean any of them are wrong. You are convinced that your perception is correct and that your sister has convinced herself of something false due to other factors. But the same could be true of you and you wouldn't be aware of it, right? If the brain protects you from unpleasant ideas, your brain could be protecting you too.

Which is why it is fruitless to try and come up with the ultimate "truth" of your family. What you believe about your family is what makes sense to you. What your sister believes is what makes sense to her. Neither of you can be wrong because you are looking at your individual experiences, not some collective and agreed upon truth, which cannot exist.[/quote]

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