Reply to Boyfriend is upset/sad that I am taking a bucket list trip with my sister

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I kind of get his thinking, depending on your relationship.  [b]By 6 months DH and I were talking marriage and would have run something like this by the other before jumping on it.[/b]  It wouldn't have changed the outcome (I'd still probably go!) but  it would have brought him into the conversation.  We'd probably have started to plan an "us" vacation as soon as I had enough PTO saved back up to balance this one out.

If you guys are still casual then he's being stupid.[/quote]

OP, the bold above is a total outlier. Not a lot of people tend to be talking marriage at six months any more. Not a good example for you to consider. Also, I hope you ignore another PP who said you must not be that into your BF etc. How presumptuous. Beware anyone who tells you it's somehow expected that you should feel even a little guilty about this terrific trip. Instead, your BF should be pleased for you. He isn't. pleased and he's even guilting you. Think that through.

I hope by now you've seen enough responses here noting that your BF is out of line to guilt you over this. His expressing that he wished your sister had invited him, too, has a strong whiff of entitlement to it; he's your BF only six months and he's saying out loud that your sister, to whom he's basically a stranger, should have invited him along? Was he going to pay for all that--?? The implicit demand that your PTO "should" be devoted to you as a couple (read: to him) is also something you need to think about; going forward, if you stay together, is he going to begrudge you and get all upset about...a long weekend you take for a girls' trip with friends? A trip to visit some relative you haven't seen in ages? A work trip of yours that sounds cool to him, so he's upset he can't just tag along and "stay in your hotel room because your company's paying for the room anyway" and so on?

I'd tell him these things and tell him frankly that his reactions to this trip are making you wonder if this is just some insecurity of his talking, and he doesn't really feel this clingy and needy, or if this is really who he is in this relationship. What's he like outside this one issue of the trip? Is this a symptom of a bigger tendency to think the "couple" status should take over all your time?[/quote]

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