Reply to ending a situationship when the other person does not think it is a "situationship"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
[b]I have had what I would call a “situationship” for 18 months.

Background: I am mid-40s[/b], divorced with kids and won’t remarry. Guy just turned 40, never married, no kids and insists he never wants kids.
I do like him but to me it feels casual in that we don’t see each other enough. Part of me really likes this because I don’t want to remarry and don’t have time for super serious relationship but then the other part of me feels that I should be feeling “more” at this point. Certain things about this guy are shady (I have never been to his place but he lives with a family member and in his culture, you don’t show off girlfriends…only wives). We text and talk on the phone but mostly it is just sex. I have been good with this for a long time.

However, I met someone else who seems very into me. He has his own set of red flags (but he has more in common…divorced with kids), but I really like him and he is in constant communication, and it feels more like it should feel, if that makes sense.

I told the first guy that I have been feeling that I am not sure about this situation for a long time and he mentioned I had mentioned that before.He does not agree this is a situationship or is casual. One reason…I have always felt it is a matter of time before it ends due to him not having kids but he insists I am wrong. He was pretty upset this week when I mentioned this and said he does not think this is casual. (He has never had a long term relationship ever so I think he lacks knowledge of what a real relationship is…he will go for a week without communicating, for example, and 18 months in, that is not normal. He wants to talk in person. Ugh. I think I just need to end it. The chemistry is good and he is nice but I really want to pursue this other person I recently met.

Any advice? 
[/quote]

Jesus Christ, mid-40s in a "situationship." Society really is going to hell in a handbasket.[/quote]

I’m divorced. I have kids. I am not interested in remarriage. This is absolutely better for my kids. There is nothing wrong with this. It is better than sleeping around. I had an almost completely sexless marriage. Stop judging. I wanted something casual for a long time. I am still not interested in something serious because I am not impacting my kids. I met someone who I feel is more engaged and is also on the same page as me. Kids are the priority.[/quote]

Frankly, this is what a lot of married people NSA are like.  I don’t think you owe that much to a sex relationship.  Just say it’s not working and end it.  No need to meet in person, he just wants to have sex when you do.[/quote]

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