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Reply to "The golden handcuffs of biglaw"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^ Don't you regret missing all that time with your family? I dunno, early retirement is great and I'm all a out it but it seems like you paid a heavy price for it. [/quote] NP. I second this, but I wonder if the truth is that PP probably came from a background where dad went out to work and provided resources for the family, and didn't get much more involved. I think a lot of guys of his generation and older were like that. So early retirement is more about himself and getting to do things he wants to do. So trading time with one's family when young for time for an early retirement that's probably focused on himself. I think there is a generational shift happening where guys want to be much more involved with their kids. I know I do. Because I'm a government attorney, I get to WFH 4 days a week, eat lunch with my little girl at her school a couple of times a month, and I do things like Mystery Reader and chaperone. I spend all day Saturday and Sunday with her and my wife, and it's rare that either my wife and I have to work on weekends. Heaven on earth, my friends. [/quote] I'm the early retired partner. I guess you didn't read my response. I was not a "dad who went to work and didn't get much more involved." Far from it. One anecdote to illustrate the point: the very first day of my job as an associate happened to coincide with my oldest kid's first day of first grade. I told the firm I'd be late for new associate orientation because I wanted to be with my kid at the bus stop to see them off. That's the tone I set. When my kids were growing up I did virtually everything that you describe yourself now doing with your kid -- except the WFH part -- and I had four of them and not just one. I made it work because it was important to me. You don't know me or how involved I was or wasn't in my family upbringing, your generalization about my "generation's" approach to fatherhood is both inaccurate and even if it were accurate it doesn't apply to me specifically. Bottom line: Your choices are fine, you should feel confident about them, and you shouldn't feel the need to belittle mine or anyone else's to justify them. [/quote] I'm the PP. I understand what you are saying, but it is not physically possible for you to have worked the kinds of hours you would have had to work in a firm and be really present for four children, plus a spouse. It's just not. I spend every Sat and Sunday with my family...there's no way you could do that. I'm sure you did the best you could and I don't doubt that you believe it was sufficient. What you're really saying is that you found the time with your kids sufficient enough for you, because you also had this personal goal of early retirement...to live a life you enjoy as an empty nester. I'm not judging you, I'm simply stating the facts. To each his own. Many in my generation, including myself, are just not choosing that road. [/quote]
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