Reply to How do you stay married to an ASD HFA Aspergers husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As the Mom of an Aspie, I have a lot of questions. How long did you date your ASD spouse before you married? How is it possible that you didn’t see the signs while dating? Maybe you did, but chose to ignore? I think it’s impossible for a person to “mask” so much that their spouse wouldn’t know until years after marriage.

I don’t think ASD should be blamed for your relationship problems because it’s always been a part of his personality. What changed your perception of his personality? Did you think you could fix or change his quirks?[/quote]

Look up love bombing. People can do this for years. Even decades. That's why there are so many midlife crises and affairs and just breakdowns. It's not just aspergers, but many different disabilities which help contribute to breakdowns. Think Elon Musk being so into some person or idea with so much enthusiasm. And then being into another person or idea and completely dropping the old person or idea but that person is still stuck in the relationship. You knew about your child, and you are not expecting them to take on an adult's burden which is part of the larger problem with marriage and child rearing. Child rearing really involves a lot of thinking about others. They will say they can handle the work and are really enthusiastic about it but then have absolutely no idea how to do the work but you don't understand this at first because they are so into you and are able to handle that relationship. There is so much on this now if you want to look for it. 20 years ago, most people hadn't even heard of this much less knew how to deal with it. [/quote]

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