Reply to DIL choosing not to get involved in MIL's care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like SIL feels that OP's husband is not pulling his weight.  Yes, logistically since they live closer it is easier for them to visit MIL. But, just because they have PT work or creative work, I don't think you should discount the time that might take away from their work/earnings or frankly other priorities they might have in their lives.

OP's DH needs to talk with his sister - maybe there are other ways he can contribute or support that don't involve in-person visits.

It's fine for OP to not get involved in MIL's care, but OP's husband needs to contribute to supporting his mother equally with the siblings (not necessarily by visits, but could be in other ways).  OP has said that the other two siblings live closer and both of their spouses are also helping out too, it does seem like there is some likely imbalance.[/quote]

My DH visits his mother and he also helps from afar. He does the 'boring' and time consuming household admin and finance work remotely.[/quote]

I'm not saying your DH isn't helping his mother already.  But, still sounds like his sister is having some feelings about it (rightly or wrongly). So, he should address is with her. Could be that SIL is feeling overwhelmed. You/your husband shouldn't diminish the support SIL/BILs are providing on the ground - just because you feel like it is easier/more convenient for them.[/quote]

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