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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a friend who has all the tendencies of a narcissist (what popular culture today defines it as). And she's raising her kids to believe they can do no wrong. And yet, she calls herself an empath. I think the fact that she believes she knows what everyone is thinking at all times contributes to her narcissism. It's a real mindfu#+k for anyone in their path.

I had a conversation with her once where she insisted I said something I never said. It wasn't about her or anything, it was about how my son was looking forward to playing tennis even though he was nervous. A couple of weeks later, she said she was going to pull her son from tennis because he only wanted to play if mine did. She said I told her my son was quitting. I said no, I never said that. She said "well that was the energy you were putting out when we talked about it so you might have changed your mind or something." Because she's a self proclaimed empath, she can (try to) manipulate a situation which is so narcissistic. You know?  [/quote]

I knew someone like this. It was very frustrated because she believed very strongly that she was an authority on being empathetic and kind, and it got in the way of recognizing when she was being self-involved and self-important. Like she would lecture other people extensively on having good boundaries but if you tried to assert a boundary she didn't like, she'd constantly try to negotiate it to where she wanted it to be. She wouldn't get mad or have an obviously negative response (which would be a clear indication that you should distance yourself from her). She'd say "oh of course" and then keep trying to bend the rules to suit her.

Like I remember once she asked if me if I wanted to get together to do WFH at each other's homes sometimes, because she gets lonely working from home and likes company. I told her thanks for the invite but that I worked best in my own space and keeping my own schedule, so I wouldn't want to come to her house to work. She said okay but then the next week she said "I was thinking about what you said and I really think you'd benefit from a change of scenery -- I think you're just used to having control and it would be good for you to work in someone else's space." I reiterated that I wasn't interested but she just kept trying to wheedle me, it was very frustrating. I must have told her five or six times I did not want to work at her house before she finally stopped. She kept telling me that I needed to do it or giving explanations for it, sending me links to articles about collaborative work, etc. She could not recognize that it was she who was being controlling, that she was the one who was fixated on a rigid plan and unable to change course when I said it didn't work for me. She was convinced I was the problem but I was fine. She couldn't see that it was her behavior that needed the adjustment.[/quote]

I really dislike that personality type. But I think some people think those types are great, helpful and wise. [/quote]

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