Reply to DD(7th gr)begged me not to enter school for fear of kids making fun of me

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Reply to "DD(7th gr)begged me not to enter school for fear of kids making fun of me - Multiple Sclerosis and "

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[quote=Anonymous]I am sorry that she feels that way, and of course you are hurt by it.

In my experience, girls can say hurtful things to their moms in adolescence. (Ask me how I know).

I think you can try to have a calm discussion, that you realize at this age she does not want to stand out/be different (that will also help her understand it is developmentally normal, not related to you in any way). But tell her you cannot promise to never enter the school. That would be discriminatory in a way (ableism). As far as the body shaming...I agree that you are not near the extreme at all, given average weights in the US.

Maybe she has anxiety? It may even be necessary to engage a family counsellor to help her work through why she is feeling this way. But believe me, it is her, not you.

There are some good documentaries about how people feel when others shun them or treat them differently because of how they look. But she may be too young to "grow" empathy.

Other topics that could come into play are that love is unconditional. And sometimes you will appear at school because being a good mom requires that.

Do you have any kind of relationship with the school counselor? Ours in my kid's elementary school was wonderful (a psychologist). She helped me figure out how to handle a serious parental illness when my kid was in first grade.

Good luck. This is a hard phase of parenting. [/quote]

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