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[quote=Anonymous]The gas money thing would be an instant stop to the relationship for me. How did he request it, “I’ll come see you if you give me money for gas” or “I’m here, give me gas money?”  Both are nasty, the latter puts you at risk for physical violence, people can and will hurt each other over money.  The former almost sounds like prostitution, “if you pay me, I’ll come over”. I think your use of the phrase “turn off” bothered people, they view it as say he got a bad stomach bug and “ooo, yuck, I had to hear him puke” when maybe he really couldn’t help it.  Believe me, he knew what he was doing when he asked for money and it needs a stronger word then “turn off”.

As a side note, I’ve noticed that when people demand cash (as opposed to Venmo, and when they ask for money at inappropriate times, these are people you don’t want to have anything to do with. While you may never know for sure, your boyfriend may be into substance abuse, swinging, gambling, prostitution, lots of nasty behavior.  He’s doing the money equivalent of telling you “If you want to eat at my house, bring your own dishes” or “If you need to use the bathroom, bring your own toilet paper”, and it’s easy to make you feel like the cheapskate, because “I’ve brought dishes for the barbecue” or “My kid’s nanny always brings her own plastic forks” or “My mom always packed toilet paper for our camping trips” when clearly this isn’t what’s happening.  If you’ve never seen anything like this, it’s hard to understand why it isn’t just a friendly “Bob paid for the meal so I paid for the movie tickets” deal, and this is the mentality people like op’s boyfriend are emplying to get the result they want. Nobody wants to be called cheap, stingy, not nice.. you name it.

OP’s boyfriend knew the travel distance and the price of gas, all that should have gone into his decision tree to date op. 
I‘d run, op.  I’d also wonder why he’s dating you, not because you aren’t special, but because you are far away.    That’s fine if he wants to see you (my husband did when he and I were dating) but I don’t remember him ever asking me for gas money.  I also remember going to his house the first time I came out to see him, strange that wouldn’t happen with you and your boyfriend no matter how early the dating was.. presumably he’d already been to your house, you two had been in a car together, so the “ooo, it’s too soon.. he might carry me off and kill me” fears don’t hold water with me.  As unromantic as it is, and I told my kid the same thing “people do things based on proximity.. church, shopping, activities, nothing wrong with joining something because “Hey, it’s close to home, I can get there easily”. It came up when my kid told some friends “My mom’s the only one who joined our church because it’s close to our house” to which I responded “No, I’m just admitting it, and I have no problem saying it openly”.

Do you know for sure he lives where he says he does? If so, how?  I’m admittedly doing some reading on Scott Peterson of Laci Peterson fame, and even if you believe he’s not guilty of killing his wife, he was indeed shady if only in his romantic and sexual relationships. He dated women that lived hours away from home so his wife wouldn’t find out. He used distance and social norms so that his girlfriends wouldn’t question him, along with dazzling them. Your boyfriend isn’t even willing to dazzle.   
Sounds like he’s married, and/or engaging in behavior he’d prefer you not know about.  Healthy people just don’t behave in this way.   
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