Reply to Parents in 70s plan trips without consulting adult children

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Parents in 70s plan trips without consulting adult children"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]You don't need to accommodate your sister's anxiety about driving in DC or your parents' guilt trips. Just say yes when something works for you, and no when it doesn't. They keep pressing because they know you will acquiesce. Stop acquiescing. Say, "I already told you that won't work for me." If they press again, say, "Nope, it's not going to work. What time do you want to reconnect?" If they press again, say, "OK, I'm leaving now, call me tomorrow when you know your plans." Then leave. That's it. You don't need their permission or blessing.

I recently taught my daughter "I'm sorry you feel that way. It wasn't my intention to make you feel X. I care about our relationship." AND THEN LEAVE/HANG UP. A manipulator is only happy if you do what they want. So you just have to give up on them being happy.

If they show up when you've told them it isn't a good time, say, "I told you this wasn't a good time. You'll have to stay somewhere else. Let me know when you're settled." Just do not budge.

My MIL pushes boundaries but she knows I am immovable. So she doesn't waste her time. But when we get the occasional manipulative text, I just don't react. Of course manipulative people will try to manipulate. Know this. Expect this. Be immovable.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics