Reply to at a loss as to how to make DH see reason...

Forum Index » Expectant and Postpartum Moms

Reply to "at a loss as to how to make DH see reason..."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Hi everyone, OP here.  Thanks to everyone who replied, even those who think I'm selfish, because you could be right-it's hard to see through the hormones sometimes!  To those of you who are wondering why I posted again, it's because this has been an ongoing issue, and many people suggested I wait a while, then bring it up to DH again, when tempers had cooled.  When I brought up the compromise I got from the last post (parents stay in hotel, only visit throughout the day, don't necessarily visit in the hospital if I'm not feeling up to it), he wanted nothing to do with it.  He is obsessed with the idea of "fairness", and feels that if my mom is allowed to be here at night, his mom should be as well (in all fairness, if I don't want his parents at the hospital, I wouldn't have my parents there as well, although I feel like I should be able to, but I understand how he would feel that is not fair).  If his mom is not doing everything my mom is, my mom is getting "more time" with the baby.  I also tried to compromise and tell him I would only ask my mom to stay over at our house if I really felt like I needed help, but he still wouldn't hear of it-anything my mom does, his mom gets to do as well.

Now, it could be that I am very selfish, but honestly, his mom and I are not all that close, and I really don't want her to be trying to help in the middle of the night while I'm already stressed out from recovery, BFing, etc.  I am a very private person, and the idea of his parents, and his mom at night, being up in my business right after I am done giving birth is giving me hives.  I just feel like it's casting a pall over the whole birth.  FTR, I am fine if his parents come up, help out, run errands, etc (that has taken some time to adjust to, but I HAVE adjusted to it), but I just don't understand how HE can't understand that my body, hormones, and feelings are going to be going through some major shit and I'd like some damn privacy.  I guess, bottom line, I feel like he's placing his family above our family, his parents/mom above his wife, and that's very hurtful.

Thanks to those who were supportive and suggested counseling...I guess if I can't let this go, and it's as bad as I think it will be, then that is where we are headed :([/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics