Reply to SAHMs and marriage dynamics?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a big law partner and a lot of my male colleagues have wives who are SAHMs. I'm not super involved in their marriages, obviously, but just from hearing how they talk amongst themselves, it seems like a lot of them lose respect for their wives. All conversations become about the kids or the household, and they start seeing their wives more as a mother to their kids than a true partner and equal. They do love their wives, and I think their marriages are mostly happy, but it does sometimes feel like they see their colleagues (male and female) as their peers and their wives as a step beneath - and that's with the good ones. As you probably know, cheating is rampant in big law. This may be unique to law, and big law in particular, where people tend to make their career their personality and most of their self worth. [/quote]

My husband is a big law partner and I’m a SAHM and right now he’s working his a$$ off. What kind of law do you do that gives you time to hang out in DCUM in the middle of the day? [/quote]

PP - I'm in M&A and just closed two big deals, so I don't have much of anything going on for the next few days. I know you're just being snarky, but for the sake of anyone who is reading this and wondering, big law partners generally do have a decent amount of down time between cases/transactions. If your husband is telling you otherwise, you should be asking questions. The past two years were a bit of an outlier because the corporate market was absolutely insane, but it's started to slow down and go back to normal. [/quote]

It's real easy to generalize about big law partners, marriages, and genders.  I should know, because I was a big law partner who retired (very) early.  My spouse was a SAHM.  I never consider her to be merely the "mother of my children" and relied on her throughout my career for professional and common sense advice.  I also never met a woman partner who was enjoyable to be around or who appeared happy.  They were almost universally miserable and nasty, many never married, and many didn't have kids.  But, then again, I'm not privy to what they're really thinking or feeling, right?  But guess what:  you are not privy to what's going on in your law partners' marriages, either.

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Idk. Cheating is rampant and often open. Seems pretty disrespectful to me. [/quote]

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