Reply to Perpetually lonely and miserable -- will I ever be happy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP--I think it's likely I work at the same firm at you (a few levels up), and if I looked back at the new joiner lists I'd probably be able to tell exactly who you are.

Listen, the first few months on this job are hard and the learning curve is steep. Your hours probably reflect that--they will go down as you get better at it.

Please don't write us all off as fratty or cliquey. The DC office is actually incredibly international--even a lot of the white people (myself included) are not American! Looks can be deceiving :) We're a friendly bunch, and complete nerds at the end of the day. There is an office happy hour every Friday, among many, many other events. Give us a chance!

If you're still feeling lonely and unfulfilled, please also share those thoughts with your mentor. It's not going to affect your performance evaluation in any way--they are there solely to support you. They can help guide you and make connections. Typically our start classes become quite close-knit--have you taken part in all the class events so far? Once you get to know people, ask around about housing--many of them live together in roommate situations in their first few years. How big is your case team? Have you had any case team events? If not, volunteer to plan one! Everyone loves a fancy dinner :)

Your current roommate situation sound horrible, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I would ask around at work about housing and where others in your start class or the class above you are living. They will have good recommendations! And if you share and are vulnerable about what a bad time you're having, they will be sympathetic and helpful. I promise. Opening up is a good way to make connections and friends--you don't need to keep it all bottled up. If I was your manager, I'd want to know you're struggling. That's the only way I can help.[/quote]

Ohhh, this is a trap and a mistake!! It’s crucial to have mentors and people you can open up to. It should never, ever, be the one assigned by HR. You need to solve this problem outside of work. The boss is not your friend, and anything you say at work can and will be used against you. [/quote]

I'm the PP. I know this is true at a lot of firms, but not ours. The mentor is just a mentor--they're there for your wellbeing and have zero input into any promo, PIP, etc. discussions. There is a separate person responsible for your PD, and that is where things can get dicey if you're super negative or have a bad attitude. And supervisors generally care a lot about their teams and would want to know if there was something going on outside of work affecting your work or your experience at the company--most people go through 2-3 cases per review cycle, so the input any one supervisor has on your overall review is not huge, plus they tend to grade up vs. down if they know you're having an issue.[/quote]

You sound like you’re striaigjt from HR. [/quote]

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