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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Here are some more facts. My sister met BIL about 10 years ago. He stopped drinking apparently five years before that. I asked what happened and my sister shut down and was like it's in the past, blah blah. I feel like she's in denial of the real risk she and her kids are in. This man is a walking time bomb and she's just carrying on like they are this normal family. It's just ... such a façade.

When I asked why she never said anything, she was like it's no one's business why he doesn't drink. I agree in a way (it's not my life) but I am worried and concerned. We always had a pact to never get entangled with addicts and here she is...married to one. [/quote]

Are you in therapy for the trauma you have related to alcoholism? I absolutely would not marry someone who had been an addict given my parents alcoholism and an experience with a long term boyfriend in my 20s. I chose to marry a man that rarely has one drink. That said, I think you are really overreacting here in a way that is only going to be more damaging to you. You are very likely to lose your relationship with your sister and it sounds like that is a valuable relationship to her. There is nothing crazy about your sister marrying someone who was five years sober — even if you and I would not do that. And to be terrified about someone 15 years sober going back to drinking is totally not in line with actual statistics. [/quote]

OP here. Why are you judging me when you actually agree with me? Because that's the entire point. It's ridiculous to say on the one hand, it makes sense, I'd stay away from addicts while on the other hand, tell me I'm crazy because of that exact same point.

It's not about the time. Heck, I don't even know if anyone can even believe if he is "sober." Addicts are liars, as I'm sure you are aware.[/quote]
No, the poster is saying that SHE might not make the choice your sister did, but that doesn't make your sister's choice crazy and irrational.  And it doesn't make her marriage a facade or her husband a ticking time bomb.  YOU think she's in denial.  But she had the same experience you did and knows the risks of addiction firsthand.  Thinking that you know her husband of a decade better than her, that you know what's best for her better than she does, and thinking that her husband should be shunned and doesn't deserve his family...that's going to alienate her.  
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