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[quote=Anonymous]Former family law attorney here have seen so many cases - not in DC, but judges are trained nationally on universal standards regarding expectations of child custody in family courts.

The default will always be to a 50/50 custody arrangement unless the parents don’t want it and those cases usually don’t get to trial. The ones that do because as in your case you don’t want it despite lacking good evidence establishing a case against it will get decided by the judge and will usually go 50/50 absent significant evidence of a negative effect on the kids from being 50% of the time with the parent arguing parent argues shouldn’t have them 50% of the time.

You aren’t articulating anything to justify denial of shared custody to your husband. You don’t like how he does things etc. but nothing you have said establishes a case against shared custody. I hope your attorney has given you and honest assessment that you are unlikely to prevail so you won’t be disappointed when you lose and 50/50 is awarded. Judges typically take the attitude that kids are resilient, they’ll roll with the punches of two different parents with different parenting styles and if the parents really cared to make things easier for the kids, they would. Sadly what most judges see day in day out is inflexible angry adults using family court to perpetuate abuse that they don’t get a chance to do in person anymore because they’ve left the spouse they once loved enough to reproduce with and the kids and coparenting is the avenue open to continue the dysfunctional relationship with the former spouse. If you want to curry favor with the judge, don’t let him see your contempt for the man you chose to get impregnated by - that’s good free legal advice whether you take it or not.

Start keeping a custody journal - one at home with all the details as you perceive them, and one that travels with the kids back and forth with custody exchange - this is a place to exchange info on all the little details of child care and child activities and school stuff etc. so nobody drops any balls. Notes should be factual and as friendly as possible, this is not a place for passive aggressive swipes at former partner because if you go before the judge in a contested hearing again, s/he’ll be reading it all and they can see hostility that you might think you’re hiding from the world.

I got out of family law because I felt so badly for the kids. I hope yours get through this okay.[/quote]

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