Reply to What do judges care about when deciding custody?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

The logistical aspect is related to the fact that the other parent doesn’t have work flexibility with hours, whereas I do and can watch the kids whenever necessary. The other parent said they would simply ask me to watch the kids if they can’t do so during their parenting time.

There’s a lot of other evidence I’ve gathered that is unrelated to this that shows a pattern of inconsistency on the part of the other parent as well.[/quote]

Nope. Don’t watch kids during his fifty fifty time unless there is an adjustment in child support for doing so.[/quote]

I am the poster who posted the long post just above, and this is exactly what the judge will tell you if you present the case as you've presented it in this thread. If you say "But he's going to call me to take the kids when he has to work," the judge will just turn to him and say "You cannot do that, you are responsible for securing childcare during your custodial days, do you understand?" And as long as your X says "yes" the judge will default to 50/50 custody without further evidence. At most, the judge will warn him and say "if I wind up back here in a few months hearing evidence that you've been contacting your X for childcare regularly, I will amend the agreement."

Most family court judges want people to work out these differences themselves. They get annoyed when people come in and just use it as a chance to dump on the other party and take no responsibility for themselves. The judge will set an expectation that you and your X should be able to work out a 50/50 arrangement without it descending into chaos because most parents should be able to do that.[/quote]

I agree most parents are able to do that. However that just isn’t possible in this case. The other parent has a track record of not communicating, even when it comes to important information that is required to be communicated. They also do things out of spite, which I know a judge won’t care about, however there is documented evidence of this parent not following through with the temporary order.[/quote]

You can show all that to the judge and hope for a better outcome.  It might work.

I know it's stressful to be parenting with someone who is difficult and unreliable.  But I think it would benefit you to re-frame this as not just your Ex's right to have time with your children, but also *their* right to have a significant amount of time with their father.  It's a different kind of parenting relationship when someone doesn't have 50/50 or close to it.[/quote]

I’ve unfortunately tried to get him to spend more time with the kids repeatedly (all documented), and he just simply doesn’t do it. He has excuse after excuse as to why he can’t see them more right now and for the entirety of the time we’ve been separated. This is why it makes no sense to me that he is insisting on nothing less than 50/50 physical custody. [/quote]

NP - sounds to me like it's a matter of paying child support or not getting child support, whichever is applicable to you, OP.[/quote]

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