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[quote=Anonymous]
OP, I haven't read every post so apologies if someone already said this, but it might bear repeating anyway: Start doing some holidays -- yes, even major ones -- with just you, DH and the kids. At your own home. Relaxed, without having to please anyone else or put up with anyone else. Throw in an occasional family trip that is just YOUR family of you, DH, kids, over a holiday. I'm sure your kids have fun with the cousins but they still will see them, just not as much. And you as a nuclear family deserve to have traditions that are only yours.

If your DH is balky and thinks all holidays must be spent with grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins -- give him some holidays but I'd really make the tradeoff that others are yours and the kids'. I've been married 30 years and due to my in-laws being in another country, learned the joys of a small Christmas or Thanksgiving with just me, DH and our DD, or with friends over, or going to friends' for a meal or event and...coming home to our own house! We also traveled to the in-laws but seldom at holidays (expensive, terrible weather where they are at our holidays, etc.) and the in-law visits were MUCH more low-pressure and pleasant that way. Just something to consider.

If this past Christmas was at the SIL/BILs staying at MIL/FIL's small place....plan special events at HOME for next Christmas and let everyone know well in advance, "We're doing Christmas here in 2023, but will see you in 2024, and of course we'll be in touch about (random visit time)!" Smile and do not cave to begging or blackmail. THey will realize it's just more relaxed when you do next have a holiday with them. [/quote]

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