Reply to Parent is not a bad person but still not emotionally attached to them

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, don't feel guilty.  Parental relationships are tricky and no one has to be over the moon about a parent.  Your dad is who he is, sounds like you've accepted that, and it's a wonderful gift that you had such a close relationship with your mom.  [/quote]

Yes, your Dad sounds like a nice guy but a mediocre parent.. and your cordial but not particularly emotionally close relationship sounds like the logical result, not some sort of anomaly.  I actually think it makes sense to be clear-eyed about his limits--not so you can beat him up or yourself--but so you can temper your expectations about what he is really capable of offering and draw reasonable boundaries to preserve your time and emotional energy.[/quote]

Yes, 100% agree. Nothing wrong with how you feel, OP. You never said you were entitled to flawless relationships- that comment and others are projections. Your dad is not an attentive and giving person and you manage your expectations and are clear eyed about that and what you can give. You don’t need therapy. You’re fine. And fwiw, I have pretty abusive parents and have surface level relationships with them because they can’t go deep or be relied on. And yes, I wish it were different. Wanting a close, healthy, functional relationship and being sad or disappointed about your relationship is normal. It’s not entitled. It’s natural. We are programmed to want love and nurturing and attention from our parents.[/quote]

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