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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is not normal.[/quote]

It’s very normal.  Read the 1 million posts about family holiday stress.

We are not fighting right now but we didn’t travel to see any family for Christmas or New Years.  It makes a difference.  There was always an argument when we went to see either side in the past.  It’s a tense time and we are most comfortable with each other so all of the pent up emotions come out.  That’s not the reason we stopped traveling but an added bonus.  [/quote]

It’s not abnormal, but it’s also not a great sign for a relationship. The couple should be a team and neither should feel that they need to be defensive about anything about their upbringing or family. My family has more than their share of dysfunction, and DH and I both just roll our eyes and either laugh or commiserate about it, but he understands that they’re my family and I love them, with all their quirks, and he would never try to make me feel bad about that. Same with me & his family.

I read recently that one sign of a relationship that is headed for the rocks is that the couple shame each other. Shaming someone about their family seems like a version of that. [/quote]

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