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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Daughter in law here. I think it’s odd and a bit rude to start off making the coffee and meals and suddenly stop without saying anything. It’s totally fine to stop, but then you say, hey MIL, here’s how to make the coffee and here’s where the stuff is. Feel free to help yourself in the morning. I’ll be tied up for breakfast and lunch, but help yourselves to the x or the y if you’d like; don’t worry about us, etc. how hard is that? Sudden change of course without communication is inhospitable and rude.[/quote]

Why can’t OP’s son say any of that? Why are you expecting his wife to be primary host who communicates with guest?[/quote]
Anyone can say it. I’m not expecting anyone to be primary anything. I think the hosts should communicate to the guests what they want the guests to do in their home. If not, it is confusing becaise not everyone wants you rummaging around their cabinets looking for the mug, coffee, sugar. Other people doing care. Either way is fine, but you should communicate. It’s presumptuous for the guest to just assume she’s supposed to make coffee if no one told her that and she never did before. Maybe the DIL forgot and that’s not a huge deal, but OP was right to wait and see. Once she knows, then she should proceed accordingly.[/quote]

If you are a guest in your son’s home, have been there for multiple days, and still expect to be waited on hand and foot rather than make one pot of coffee when the other adults in the house are busy and tired, then please “proceed accordingly” by leaving. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. This is a situation where you should make coffee for yourself to show that you do not see DIL or your son as a servant or the owner of a bed and breakfast. If that’s the wrong move, they will let you know, but it’s better to take care of yourself (and heaven forbid, your DIL by having coffee ready for HER for a change), but I highly doubt they will be offended.[/quote]

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