Reply to Stay-at-home moms in Asian culture?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In some families it’s expected that the moms will work and the grandparents will take care of the kids. Maybe that’s how those grandparents expected things to go and are mad they don’t get to be with the grandkids?[/quote]

This may be what is happening. Less about sahm/no sahm than about the grandparents (the grandma often) and their role.

My grandma (from Taiwan) watched her grandkids. My aunt watches her grandkids. My aunt is part of a whole *community* in her city of UMC educated women who watch their grandkids. They do Chinese new year stuff together with the grandkids on the weekdays, take them to enrichment activities together, go for stroller walks together etc. Beung a part of this community is a really big deal to my aunt. 
[/quote]

I have a good friend who is Taiwanese. He parents left her with the grandparents while her parents worked. The dad was a doctor and mom was a nurse. The parents would come get her on weekends. My friend is very resentful of this.

I also have other Asian friends who either lived apart or were frequently dropped off at grandparents and it seems like a painful memory from their childhood. They also have an extra hard time when grandparents pass because they were the primary.[/quote]

Painful? It doesn’t have to be, it can be beautiful and nurturing. My grandmas played a big role in raising me and it was not painful at all. One is still alive and healthy and I’m in my 40s. But even if she passed earlier, that’s no reason not to form a bond and not to be grateful for the time you had. I also have a good relationship with my parents. [/quote]

I guess depends on the situation. I know a few Chinese immigrants in the US that once the baby was born sent the baby back to China for the grandparents to watch out of necessity while both parents continued working their white collar jobs. It’s out of necessity that families are separated like that and that’s a painful experience.[/quote]

Why would it be a necessity?  Other families with two white collar jobs manage to keep their children with them.  Why wouldn't Chinese immigrants be able to do so if they chose to?[/quote]

It’s not an awful painful necessity like the other poster makes it out to be. It’s also not common, most Chinese immigrants keep their kids with them. Trust me, there aren’t numbers of Chinese babies being sent back to China by crying mothers. [/quote]

If two parents are trying to forge ahead in their careers and build wealth they send their kids back. I know at least two to three families that did that. [/quote]

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