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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Three of our daughters have gotten married.  All three were in their mid 20s or so.  We happily paid for the bulk of all three weddings.  Each wedding could not have been more different from the other, but each was exactly what the couple wanted and was very, very nice.  I’d say the cheapest of the 3 was about $50k and the most expensive was closer to $100k.

We accepted when offered but never requested any help from the grooms’ parents or the couples, and never ever talked to any of them about money.  One of the grooms’ parents wanted to spring for the wedding cake, for example, and another wanted to provide the booze - in both cases we said “sure, thank you very much” and that was that.  Had they not offered, we wouldn’t have cared or judged.

There’s so much acrimony on DCUM when it comes to family, in laws, kids, who pays for what, etc etc etc.   We have never experienced any of that.  We’re lucky, I guess.   [/quote]

You've lots of money and willing to spend it on parties so good for you. Not everyone can need or want to.

[/quote]

Well, they weren’t parties they were weddings.  A one time thing.  So we didn’t mind.  We also have pretty sensible kids who didn’t go overboard.  They had a pretty good sense for what was reasonable and what wasn’t.  We also learned from our mistakes with the first wedding, which was the most expensive.  We trimmed the guest list for the other weddings, for example, inviting fewer of our friends who had less of a connection to the couple.  After all, weddings are mostly about the couple, their family, and their friends.  [/quote]

Sensible "kids" don't let their UMC parents throw fancy $100k events for them.[/quote]

Well, as I said, the first wedding was $100k because it was larger than it needed to be.  The second and third weddings were cheaper because we cut the guest list and didn’t invite our own friends.  Just friends of the bride and groom.  One of the grooms had a rule that he didn’t want to meet people for the first time at his own wedding, which was real helpful ha ha. [/quote]

My parents paid for our wedding 15 years ago, which ended up being 80 people and about $25k. They didn’t give me a budget (I think they spent about $40k on both my siblings’ weddings which were much bigger) and in fact kept trying to make it bigger. The reception place we chose had a main dining room and then a bunch of side rooms and I kept trying to tell them if we went bigger either we’d have to give up some or all of the dance floor for tables or we’d have to put some tables in the other rooms. I didn’t want either. My parents visited a cousin of my mom’s I’d never met shortly after I was engaged and my dad said “you should come to the wedding!” So then my mom felt she needed to invite all 12 of her cousins and their spouses. Finally I said to my parents, “if I can’t give them a big hug and say ‘it means the world to me and / or DH that you are here’ then I don’t want them here.” My family including cousins, aunts, uncles were 40 of the guests, my DH’s siblings, in-laws, and parents were 10. His parents invited 6 close friends and my parents invited about 10. After the minister and his wife that left room for about 12 of our friends! My parents kept saying “your siblings gave us freedom for 20-30 guests at their weddings” but I pointed out their weddings were 250 or so. To this day my mom tells me how much she loved the more intimate wedding and she’s glad I reigned them in a bit. I felt like it was crazy to spend even $25k on a wedding, but they wanted to do it for me and they could. [/quote]

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