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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]You have zero input on whether the other set of parents should contribute money. So drop that “bride’s family and groom’s family attitude” right now[/b]. If you want to give money, give a check. Give a check in an amount you are combo for table with, with no strings attached. Expect no input, and do not expect to be consulted. This is a GIFT, so give it. [/quote]

Agree with the bolded. Implicit in the question is that the parties should be entitled to opinions about what the other parties contribute. I’ve seen groom’s families pay for the whole thing because the bride’s family’s budget was too modest for their tastes—fair enough! Every dynamic is different.

I disagree though that you can either give a “no strings” gift or nothing. Parents can absolutely say “I’ll give you this money but only if you invite these people and serve a traditional dinner etc.” The couple is free to say no, but it’s not “a GIFT” it’s money for a specific event.

[/quote]

Then you’re not giving money for their wedding. You’re giving money for a family reunion or family party that you want. No thanks.

DH and I had plenty of money. We accepted a gift from my parents, and my parents made it clear it was for anything we wanted—wedding, downpayment, savings, a vacation, a honeymoon, etc. That’s exactly what we’ll be doing for our children. [/quote]

No YOU aren’t giving them money for a wedding. I’m literally giving them money for a wedding. Not a down payment, not a honeymoon, not a shopping spree, a wedding. [/quote]

Keep up the controlling attitude. Keep making their wedding about you. See where it leads. Good luck![/quote]

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