Reply to Annoyed that ILs are unhelpful to us when we visit them, but expect us to do a ton as “good guests”

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Reply to "Annoyed that ILs are unhelpful to us when we visit them, but expect us to do a ton as “good guests”"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

This actually isn’t as strictly gendered as some suggest, and FYI my MIL is super successful in her field and made about ten times more money than FIL, who did most of the childcare when DH was a kid and continues to be the main person who grocery shops and cleans.

But I think EVERYONE should contribute and be helpful. I’m the same way when we have guests with kids, and honestly it’s fun to occupy kids you don’t see often. But if they don’t want to interact much with our kids, at least they could do other host things to help us out.

I will NEVER be like them when my kids are grown and come visit. It’s no wonder we don’t visit ILs very often. [/quote]
The fact that you think it’s fun to occupy kids you don’t see that often is where the disconnect is. I love my kids but I can fully acknowledge that when they were under 5 entertaining them for more than about 20 minutes was not that fun for other people, and was no one’s responsibility but mine and DHs. And I only had 2 of them not 3. It’s not reasonable to expect other people to entertain your 3 very young children for long stretches.[/quote]

If my parents or inlaws had this attitude about their grandchildren, we would have seen them a whole lot less.[/quote]

What in the world? They are your kids, you decided to have them, ultimate responsibility lies with you. Why did you have kids? Were they to be a git to your parents and in-laws?[/quote]

Did you read the post I am responding to?  Did you see how many times she talks about "fun?"  Do you want to be an engaged grandparent to the age your grandkids actually are?  Or are you just looking for fun?  Because schlepping little kids to their grandparents' house is not fun for the adult children.

Again, thank goodness my parents and in-laws were a great help with kids that age.[/quote]

The PP is acknowledging it's not fun to be around little kids all day or expect others to entertain them. Are you the one responding that you wouldn't visit people who think that little kids are sometimes a drag? Because if you are I think that's ridiculous. They are your kids and your job no matter whose house you're in. You don't get to put your feet up and relax and foist toddlers on grandparents all who may not be up to the job. My kids aren't that old, I have 3 of them, the youngest is 7. I know exactly what all this is like. But at the end of the day, my kids, my problem. [/quote]

+1[/quote]

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