Reply to Annoyed that ILs are unhelpful to us when we visit them, but expect us to do a ton as “good guests”

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Reply to "Annoyed that ILs are unhelpful to us when we visit them, but expect us to do a ton as “good guests”"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Young parents have this notion that everybody owes them the world, especially grandparents, simply because they provided grandchildren. We might have been that way, but we quickly got over it. Now we role her eyes at SIL who still has this notion. Elderly people can’t provide hotel accommodations plus free babysitting.

Washing the dishes (20 mins to load the dishwasher and scrub a few pans?) and stripping the bed (5 mins?) aren’t unreasonable, especially if OP and DH share the jobs.[/quote]

That’s fine as long as grandparents don’t ask for a visit. Ever. I mean what are they thinking even dreaming of asking for a visit when they can’t host kids?[/quote]

Because you’re the parents and your job is to take care of your own kids. The entitlement here is stunning.  :roll: [/quote]

DP. Your hostility toward parents with young kids is stunning.

Really, when you have toddlers it's just hard to travel to someone's house. If it were a hotel at least you don't have to cook and clean. But at ILs' place you cannot relax for one moment, and it's not your home environment so entertaining the kids is more complicated and harder.

What parents of young kids willingly schlep everything and travel to their ILs during the crazy holiday season? They go b/c the grandparents expect it. Then the grandparents do not lift a finger to help with kids, and wonder why the parents want to visit less.

So much for taking a village. [/quote]

We HAD young kids. We schlepped them to both sets of grandparents every major holiday. We went to be with the grandparents, not because they “expected” it. The grandparents always provided meals and cleaned up, much like OP’s parents apparently do. We never expected anybody else to watch our small kids while we sat around reading novels and drinking wine. [/quote]

Glad you enjoyed that but to me it sounds miserable. I definitely wouldn't expect my children to do that when they have young kids. [/quote]

Come back and post in 30 years when your kid and spouse demand you babysit their spoilt, unruly kids. [/quote]

You sound like a peach. Even more reason not to demand visits with "spoilt, unruly kids" running around, right?[/quote]

Just that we don’t know if OP’s kids are easy or hard. Kids who are the center of attention 100% of the time do tend to be self-centered and spoilt, though.

Even toddlers can and should entertain themselves for the 20 mins it takes for grandpa to call the office. As long as Larlo is putting the wooden train track pieces together under grandpa’s eye while he’s on the phone, that to me is a GOOD outcome, including good for Larlo. [/quote]

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