Reply to Mom recently died, DH is planning his mom's bday party

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If I was your MIL, I would totally understand if you were not up for attending my birthday party.

You know yourself best. If you cannot handle it, it’s ok. That doesn’t make you a horrible person. Whatever you are feeling is ok. Grief is a funny thing and every person experiences it in different ways.  As someone who lost both a parent and a child, I am very empathetic to all the complex and difficult feelings that come up after such a major loss. [/quote]

Back to add… I am really disappointed to see so many posters here that would apparently judge you negatively for not attending your MIL’s bday celebration right after the loss of your mother.  It goes to show you that most people really have trouble having true empathy for others and are incapable of imagining what it might be like for you. They think, well I would still suck it up and go, so she should still go because if I can do it, so can she. Everyone is different and let me reiterate: anything you are feeling right now is OK and normal. [/quote]

NP. I think it would be helpful if OP said the general time frame of her mother’s passing and the general time frame of her MIL’s birthday party. For all we know, this birthday party could be happening in July. While overall I have a lot of compassion for OP, if we are talking a far-future-date party, my advice to her would be…talk to a friend or a therapist about your feelings now, tell DH you cannot help with party planning and don’t want to talk about it, but *wait and see* how you feel about actually attending, because in a few months, you might feel more up to it.

OP is not providing relevant information, so I don’t know how we’re supposed to give the most helpful advice possible.[/quote]

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