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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, if you have honestly tried all the things mentioned here-holding your child down/closing him in his room for time outs, taking away toys/privileges, using positive reinforcement, etc, then it seems like a well-timed spanking may be called for.  I'm not talking about what you did, hitting back immediately in anger (although Lord knows I completely understand it!), but giving fair warning as a consequence, just like any other consequence.  The very next time he hits, I'd repeat what you've been saying: "hitting hurts, we don't hit, and the next time you hit me, you're getting a spanking".  Then when he does it, get a firm grip on your emotions (I don't know who can spank their kids "calmly", but obviously if you are visibly angry or upset, don't spank), take him to his room, spank him, leave him there for time out, even if you have to hold the door closed, and have a good cry on the other side of the door.

This may not be something you can see yourself doing.  I wouldn't think I could do it either, but then, I've never had issues with my kids like you are having.  But if you have honestly given everything else a go that's been listed, and the change has been zero, what do you have to lose?  I hardly think 1 isolated incident of spanking is going to ruin him for life.  And before everyone jumps on me for being a horrible horrible person, my friend tried this with her biter at almost 3, when she was at her wits' end.  She called me after in tears, even though we had discussed it beforehand, but guess what?  He got the message.  Spanking (or hitting, for those who will surely want me to call a spade a spade) should never be used for trivial things, or in the heat of the moment, but for something serious like this (hanging on your back whaling on you?  Come on!), I think it has a place.

Good luck with whatever you do, and perhaps your hit yesterday did get the message across.[/quote]

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